The I Love Bibb Program

The I Love Bibb Program was a step by step, no shit, real plan. It was a plan to save PFC Bibb from himself, via everyone else. I love Bibb, I really do. But, at this particular time in the world we lived in, less of Bibb was better.He had told all his stories, flown every plane, told you about the thing he read that made him an expert on, listed 5 of the top 25 things that made him better than you. Through that, somehow he had pissed everyone off. I even got complaints from the PX lady, she say, "He talk too much." in the Korean accent, "about stupid stuff, you know? He need leave." I had even called his father back at home to try and get help. He just had a way about him, and he was about to be dead. Like, serious dead. Blanket party, nope, code red, yep, it was headed there. I had to "handle the truth!"I called us all together, fall out and fall in around me. I had Bibb right beside me. Put my arm around him. All of us were together, our whole unit. I said, "Repeat after me, I love Bibb." Good, Again, "I love Bibb." Bibb was blushing. We did it again, "I love Bibb." Everyone was giggling by now.Now I looked at Bibb. "Your job is to listen instead of talk. You have no stories to tell, you have no input to give. We don't want to hear about your pilot stories. You will answer polite questions and otherwise participate but you are no longer a storyteller, we have voted, ok?"I told my Soldiers, "any one of you touch him, bump him, breath near him, cause him to talk, ask him silly questions, do anything to make him say any extra words necessary, you will bear the wrath of all the rest of us, cause we are just trying to get through this and none of want no sneaky investigations with all the crazy we already have going on around here?" I looked at Bibb, "You good dude?" "Yes First Sergeant!"Everyone repeat after me, "I Love Bibb!" They sounded off pretty loud actually. Now fall back in.It worked, he is still alive. He just showed up on Facebook today, he is now my Facebook friend. I love you Bibb!